sometimes you just need to babysit to put everything into perspective.
i babysit for one of my friends and she has 4 girls. KK who is 8, kenzie who is 6, jack jack who is 4, and jazzy who is 2. needless to say, its a handful. and not only that but i also have to basically babysit the ladys brother and his cousin who are 23. its sad when you have to get onto a 23 year old for something that the 2 year old knows not to do..
it has helped me to see even more things that i do not want in a man. like immaturity(if that's how you spell it), extreme sarcasm, and disrespect. if you can't treat me like i have a brain, and you undermine my authority, get away from me. im so over being treated like an imbecile just because i am under 18. NEWS FLASH. im more mature and have a far greater intellect than you ever could.
i also know that i dont want kids until after college and am settled in my marraige. cause this household is crazy. just sayin.
i also need a bluray with netflix and pandora. because it is awesome.
the kids have shown me how to live life to the fullest. they also make me realize that things that seem hugely important and devastating at one time, are usually not that bad and get better in a short time. i now know to live in the moment and give everything i do my all. if you're gonna listen to pandora, you have to shout the words and dance like crazy.
all this and that katy perry is great dance music. oh, and black men usually think they can dance amazing, when really it is just sad. poor stanley.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
wide awake
long time no write. mostly because i keep forgetting i have a blog. haha.
so here's the thing. i know in previous blogs i have talked about my struggles with being single and having a very few amount of friends. and i bet you didnt see this coming...
...its still the same...
but in the process of the past year, one of the worst school years ive had in a while, ive learned quite a few things.
1) boys my age are stupid, like 98% of them, and they ARE GOING TO HURT YOU. no matter what they tell you, what they promise, and what your friends think, its usually a lie. they do what they have to, to get what they want. and lets face it, most dont think with their brains.
2) then there are the other 2% of guys. they are a rare breed. if you find one, dont let anything seperate you unless Jesus says so. because trust, if you do, someone else will appreciate him and take him away faster than you can blink.
3) teenage girls suck. once again, there is the 98/2 thing. 98% of them only think about boys, drama, boys, drama, and more boys, which leads only to more drama. most of them are not fit to live, love, or reproduce, much less be a legitimate friend.
4) then the 2%...if you are lucky and blessed, you have at least one person who is there for you no matter what. that one person your age who gets what you are going through and can laugh at your stupid jokes. someone who isnt a boyfriend or whatever.
5) in the end, it always comes back to Jesus. when im mad at the world and everyone in it, when im so broken i just wanna stay in bed for forever, when i feel so alone that i dont know if i can stand it for one more minute, He is always there. no matter what i am going through, He stands with me, holds me close, builds me up, listens to my problems, and cries with me. there is no friend or lover like Jesus.
*in the words of stephanie frizzle, He can love me more in a moment than other lovers could in a lifetime.
the past year has made me wide awake, opened my eyes to the decisions i make and those of the people around me. ive learned to be more cautious, and to run everything by Jesus first. He is the answer to everything.
so here's the thing. i know in previous blogs i have talked about my struggles with being single and having a very few amount of friends. and i bet you didnt see this coming...
...its still the same...
but in the process of the past year, one of the worst school years ive had in a while, ive learned quite a few things.
1) boys my age are stupid, like 98% of them, and they ARE GOING TO HURT YOU. no matter what they tell you, what they promise, and what your friends think, its usually a lie. they do what they have to, to get what they want. and lets face it, most dont think with their brains.
2) then there are the other 2% of guys. they are a rare breed. if you find one, dont let anything seperate you unless Jesus says so. because trust, if you do, someone else will appreciate him and take him away faster than you can blink.
3) teenage girls suck. once again, there is the 98/2 thing. 98% of them only think about boys, drama, boys, drama, and more boys, which leads only to more drama. most of them are not fit to live, love, or reproduce, much less be a legitimate friend.
4) then the 2%...if you are lucky and blessed, you have at least one person who is there for you no matter what. that one person your age who gets what you are going through and can laugh at your stupid jokes. someone who isnt a boyfriend or whatever.
5) in the end, it always comes back to Jesus. when im mad at the world and everyone in it, when im so broken i just wanna stay in bed for forever, when i feel so alone that i dont know if i can stand it for one more minute, He is always there. no matter what i am going through, He stands with me, holds me close, builds me up, listens to my problems, and cries with me. there is no friend or lover like Jesus.
*in the words of stephanie frizzle, He can love me more in a moment than other lovers could in a lifetime.
the past year has made me wide awake, opened my eyes to the decisions i make and those of the people around me. ive learned to be more cautious, and to run everything by Jesus first. He is the answer to everything.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
here i sit, still alone...
being alone has its advantages, but then there are times like the past month or so where, frankly, it sucks ass. watching my friends with their significant others or soon-to-be ones, makes me wanna go cry. im to the point where i would date almost anyone hahaha. i dont know. its kind of like, i feel like something is wrong with me because no one seems to have any sort of interest in me, except like, the creepers. i mean, i want to wait on God to send me the right one, but its soooo hard. *sigh* lately, there have been alot of times when i just wanna be like, screw it, i will take anyone!! hahaha. but in the end, i dont. so here i am, still alone. its seems like i will be forever....help me Jesus, i dont know how much longer i can handle this.
whats ironic is that i give the best relationship advice. for instance, i am in the process of helping two of my really good friends with their guy issues. one of them takes my advice and her relationship is going great while the one who ignored me is now in a relationship with a guy who has openly admitted that he does not have any romantic feelings for her, but he is willing to force himself to "try" because he knows how much she likes him. seriously?? thats about the dumbest thing i have ever heard of. but does she listen to me, of course not. so a correction to my earlier statement. i would NEVER date someone who had to FORCE himself to like me. thats pathetic. just thought id get that out there, since she obviously doesnt listen to me when i tell her that. sheesh.
even after all of that venting, here i still sit, alone.
after everything i have been through, would be relationships that feel through because the guy is a douche, break ups, and attracting only 23 year olds, i feel like i am ready. but i guess that is up to God alone. and so here i am, full circle, still waiting. anytime now would be lovely lol. my best friend and i joke around all the time singing the song where its like, "im all alone, theres no one here beside me, my troubles are all gone, theres no one left to ride me, but you gotta have friends." shrek is so profound sometimes. haha
anywho, i would thoroughly enjoy meeting the one i am supposed to be with forever. that would be awesome....
whats ironic is that i give the best relationship advice. for instance, i am in the process of helping two of my really good friends with their guy issues. one of them takes my advice and her relationship is going great while the one who ignored me is now in a relationship with a guy who has openly admitted that he does not have any romantic feelings for her, but he is willing to force himself to "try" because he knows how much she likes him. seriously?? thats about the dumbest thing i have ever heard of. but does she listen to me, of course not. so a correction to my earlier statement. i would NEVER date someone who had to FORCE himself to like me. thats pathetic. just thought id get that out there, since she obviously doesnt listen to me when i tell her that. sheesh.
even after all of that venting, here i still sit, alone.
after everything i have been through, would be relationships that feel through because the guy is a douche, break ups, and attracting only 23 year olds, i feel like i am ready. but i guess that is up to God alone. and so here i am, full circle, still waiting. anytime now would be lovely lol. my best friend and i joke around all the time singing the song where its like, "im all alone, theres no one here beside me, my troubles are all gone, theres no one left to ride me, but you gotta have friends." shrek is so profound sometimes. haha
anywho, i would thoroughly enjoy meeting the one i am supposed to be with forever. that would be awesome....
Saturday, January 21, 2012
kitchen knife set??
have you ever had that feeling that you've done something or had the same experience before?? yeah, that's called deja vu and ive been having alot of that lately. not the best experiences either. for instance, recently i lost a really good friend and it did not end well. we both ended up hurt but dealing with all the issues and drama that came with it kinds scarred me and me relationship shy. well lately it seems that the same thing is happening with nearly all of my friends and its freaking me out. is it me?? am i the problem?? at this point i only have one really good friend and one okay friend left. sure, there are people i converse with, but its not the same. *sigh* i mean seriously, what is up? just when i need people to talk to and stand behind me, i suddenly find a kitchen knife set in my back. i wanna be like "guys, i didnt ask for cutting utensils for christmas or my birthday, so why am i suddenly getting so many??" haha. oh well. no one ever said that people are trustworthy. im coming to realize that Jesus is the only one who is truly always there. of course that doesnt mean that i will always remember that or listen to reason. trust me, i will probably do the exact opposite, but thats me for ya. well thats enough ranting for now. peace out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)